On writing

I started this post to shed some light on how and why I write. Half a year ago. And I had only written one single sentence that I rewrote just now.

I'm sure that writing is different for everyone. There will be people who need a topic and a deadline and they'll get there. There will be people who hear, see or read something that triggers an emotion that they need to get out and boom, there's an article. There will be as many ways to writing as there are people who do writing. For me, well... I don't exactly know.

When I originally had the idea for this post, I must have had some message I wanted to get across and for one reason or another, I failed to convey that message in words. Not that it matters much, as I'm writing now and there may be some deeper motivation I have yet to uncover, but right now if feels like reflection.

Why I write

Writing is an outlet. It helps me to reflect on things, to process and order my thoughts, to work through emotions. If you've been reading my blog, you'll have noticed that most of what I posted was poetry. Wish I knew why, but it seems that writing poetry is my primary means of getting things out. Sometimes I write nothing for a long time, sometimes I write four poems in a week.

My partner once told me that when I write, that's when she gets to see the real me, that through my writing she gets to see those deeper things that I otherwise hide from the outside world and even from my loved ones. Fun fact: it was through writing a poem that I proposed to her, and I didn't even know I was going to propose until I wrote the last verse of that poem.

How I write

Honestly, I need a spark of inspiration and a bit of time. As I wrote before, apparently it's advised to publish posts on a regular schedule. This just doesn't work for me, because I need that spark.

How I write is strongly tied with why I write. The why often dictates the how and in what form. Poetry often helps me process stuff. Stories can help me gain deeper insight in myself. Posts like these are generally because I want to bring a message across, though I suppose I do that regardless of how, as the act of publishing my work will always bring some message across, which I exactly why I started this blog in the first place. Doesn't mean I have a clear idea of what message I want to convey. As for this post, I guess I want to have a least one post out there showing that industry best practices don't work for everyone and that they are not even required, I think. Just calls for more patience.

Why I publish

Well, part of it I stated on the about page:

This project launched in April 2022 to inspire individuals to see their dreams come true.

That's true of course, but it's not the full story. Or, I should say, I started this project because I believe that by posting about my life, by sharing about the ups and the downs, I can inspire people to take action on putting effort to realizing their dreams. Even if I may never know if I achieve that I hope to achieve.

On that same page, I also wrote:

On this site, I'll post about my day to day life, my ideas and my dreams. I write about projects I work on, challenges I face and how I overcome them (if and when I do).

So... 9 months have passed, and how much have I actually written? 11 posts, not counting the default first post that I have since deleted. I have hardly written about my projects. Honestly, have I ever written about any project other than once before about this website? I don't think so (and I'm too lazy right now to verify). Yet, I work on, or want to work on, many different things. One is this blog. Another is an app I'm writing, primarily for personal use and plan on someday releasing for the public. I've been taking piano lessons and, as of this summer, am taking songwriting lessons. There's at least on more  I used to work a job in IT for 4 days a week, but have been on sick leave for three months now, recovering from burn-out.

Am I complaining? No, and I don't want to. I just want to do what feels right for me. I hope that by doing so, I can inspire people. By showing that I struggle, by writing about my struggle and by acknowledging that I just can't put as much effort into my projects as I would like to, hopefully people will feel recognition, realise that they're not alone in their struggles and that even with all the struggles, the possible lack of progress, all the times that they might have stopped and maybe that last time for good, it is possible. It is possible to see that dream come true. I get told by my peers every so often that I inspire them, even in ways that I never even realised.

And as I write that, I'm reminded of some poetry I wrote, years ago, which I'll just finished this post with. Some poetry, actually part of something bigger, written when I first started thinking about writing songs and yet, until now, I never even shared except with few select individuals.

What else can I say? Maybe I'll someday release that song. Until then, hopefully this will inspire someone:

Chasing dreams is what I want
I don't care if on my way I fall
Take my lessons and proceed
Until I reach it all
Every success I celebrate
Taking steps, not matter how small
This is how I chase my dreams
Until I reach them all